MonthAugust 2018

Rammstein – Mein Land

You would expect better from neighbors of Switzerland Rammstein, but perhaps they actually recorded this video in California, where lifeguards are labelled with the internationally recognized symbol of “Swiss cross”:

Dangerous, boys. If you enter Switzerland in those trunks, people will think you are some foolish Swiss nationalists or football hooligans instead of the proud, muscular German industrial workers that you are.

Strange Brigade

Ah, some reason for praise again. Look at the health potion in the lower left corner of this screenshot from Mack’s Worth A Buy review of Strange Brigade:

Notice something? The potion may be red, but the first aid symbol on the tag has the correct colors! Rebellion Development seem to be capable developers in this regard. Cheers!

Donkey Kong Country Returns

Donkey Kong is a drunkard! Why do we know this? Because drinking Swiss cherry liqueur from a weird wood-framed bottle gets him a “heart boost”. Cirrhosis of the liver, more likely:

There are multiple things wrong with this situation, not the least of which that the Swiss cross is slightly too thin, the bottle has no obvious opening and the price is way too low. Röteli for a mere 10 gold coins? In Switzerland? Not bloody likely.

The only heart-shaped liqueur bottle I know comes from Germany and is actually arse-shaped:

Proper Swiss Röteli bottles have the decency to come in normal shapes instead:

The screenshot above was stolen from The Geek Critique’s excellent coverage of the Donkey Kong reboots.

Ruiner

In a not-so-distant but very dystopian future, the neon is bright, the streets rain-slick, and Swiss chocolate is delivered via nanoteleporter directly into your system. You can see this in a screenshot from Ruiner:

If you step into one of the fields that are clearly labeled with the Swiss cross (and even square like the Swiss flag), nanomites crawl into your nose to simulate the taste of delicious Swiss chocolate made with the freshest milk from the Alps, perhaps gathered by Heidi herself; although I hear she’s more into goats. Once you’ve had your taste, the mites enter your bloodstream where they construct sugar molecules to nourish your body. That also explains why setting foot on a Swiss flag heals you in this game.

For shame, Reikon Games, for shame.