Mars: War Logs

Oh boy, they even smuggled our chocolate up to Mars in huge boxes:

Martian chocolate is probably hard to cultivate, given the climate.

Gregory Horror Show

This PS2 classic has Swiss lizard nurses:

See what’s wrong with that picture? Yeah, it’s the heart on her little hat. Swiss people have no heart. There’s just laundered dictator money where the heart’s supposed to be.

Eurogamer

Eurogamer’s latest article proudly displays the Swiss national emblem:

Which is actually quite unfortunate, since it’s not about the Swiss gaming industry at all but about the unrelated topic of health items in games.

Shame on you, Eurogamer, you should know Europe better than that.

Doom Eternal

Looks like in order to combat demons from hell, the Doom developers thought to airdrop messenger bags probably filled with Swiss ready-made bricks of fondue onto the battlefield:

Ready-made fondue bags in Doom Eternal

I find this rather unfortunate, since every Swiss person knows that freshly made fondue with your own selection of cheeses, with or without Kirsch and matched to the right sort of white wine is the best. Ready-made supermarket stuff can never quite compete. It’s almost as bad as ready-made rösti!

What a disappointment, Bethesda.

John Oliver

As a former European, John should know better:

Switzerland is not actually that cold all the time, so this method of delivering laundered money wouldn’t even work in summer.

Stranger Things 3: The Game (and also the series)

Now lookie here, even though transatlantic shipping was considerably more expensive in the 80s than it is now, our kids in Stranger Things 3 heal themselves using entire suitcases of imported Swiss chocolate (bottom left next to the character portrait):

http://images.nintendolife.com/screenshots/97691/large.jpg

This is not the first time the Stranger Things team makes this mistake, look at the lifeguard fanny pack Eleven and Max find:

You can clearly see that this isn’t watertight. It would never keep your Swiss chocolate in edible shape. Boo. Boo, Netflix. 10 points docked for ruining our suspension of disbelief.

The Red Lantern

In this game, your sled dogs get mauled by a bear, but not to worry: You have a pack of Swiss playing cards with you to pass the time.

These cards will probably be used to play Jass. Not sure how you play that with just one person, but maybe the developer, Timberline Studio, knows. Screenshot stolen from Nintendo.

Bomber Crew

Not much to say here except to drop some praise: The first aid chests have the correct colors! Hurray! See them smack dab in the middle of this screenshot:

Screenshot stolen from Mack’s review.

Dying Light

I have to retract my praise for this game and turn it into blame! While the medkits in the game are not actually shown and their icon is black and white in the inventory, first aid storage cupboards at least use the correct colors on their labels:

No crosses on the first aid cupboards, but the correct combination of green and white

But pharmacies are labeled with the Swiss national flag, even in the square shape:

I didn’t have the patience to wait for the light to hit that sign. The only thing that’s wrong with this Swiss flag is that the ratio between the cross and the rest is messed up. The cross is slightly oversized. Other than that, stellar job marking the Swiss embassy (and disguising it as a pharmacy, no less!)

Volcanoids

The developers of digging simulator Volcanoids were clearly impressed by Swiss engineering, particularly the construction of the world’s longest tunnel that we finished in 2016. The Swiss enjoy drilling holes into mountains just as much as into cheese. That’s why in Volcanoids, you get little tubes filled with Swiss chocolate and labeled with the Swiss flag to refill your health:

Not a very Swiss environment, but Swiss chocolate can still heal you here

Screenshot stolen from Hex DSL’s video on the game.