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Saints Row: The Third

Another game developer doesn’t get it, and this time it’s Volition. The ambulances in Saints Row: The Third carry a Swiss cross on their roof:

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I apologize that this image doesn’t have the correct proportions, by the way, I stole this from YouTube.

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Hitman: GO

In this game, Square Enix has a character carrying two boxes full of Swiss chocolate onto a plane:

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The event does not seem to be explained in the plot so far, so I don’t know what it’s all about.

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Dead Trigger 2

Dead Trigger 2 by Madfinger is a strange game. It seems like a force of the Swiss army is fighting zombies around the world. When they get hurt, they evoke a vision of Swiss national pride by imagining a large heart beating for Switzerland, and the overwhelming joy of being Swiss then heals wounded soldiers. This is what it looks like:

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Very odd, but it probably goes hand in hand with the Swiss pharmacist they hired for their hideout:

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I’m guessing those white little boxes contain Swiss ID cards or something, because all the soldiers speak English. Surely the fake IDs make them feel more Swiss, enabling their Switzerland-related patriotic healing powers.

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Vox' video on painkillers

Vox’ video about opioid-based painkillers being responsible for an increasing number of deaths in the USA contains this bizarre scene that probably says something about marijuana bread in Switzerland:

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After all, French is one of Switzerland’s national languages and “pain” means bread. Maybe they’re trying to say that baking marijuana into bread is legal in Switzerland and could lead to steel briefcases full of money, but I’d like to warn them at this point. Possession of more than 10 grams of pot is still fined in Switzerland, and cannabis trade is illegal.

So Vox’ business idea with the Swiss weed bread isn’t that great. Maybe they should try in Uruguay instead, where it’s legal. Here, I’ll fix that graphic for them:

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Dear Vox, if you want to hire me to fix all your graphics, check the about page for my email!

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SciShow’s video about wound cleaning

SciShow’s video about whether you should use hydrogen peroxide to clean wounds also includes a white metal box probably full of of Swiss chocolate. Maybe it helps distract from the wounds if fed to screaming children.

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The fun bit is that they even use the square shape typical of the Swiss flag (without enough margin and the cross dimensions are all wrong, but still.)

My thanks go out to Carson for this find!

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Unicode symbol "helmet with white cross"

Why would you put a Swiss flag on a helmet in the Unicode character set, ending up with an emoji showing a Swiss-flag helmet? What use is a Swiss-flag helmet to the rest of the world?

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Cities: Skylines

The otherwise excellent city simulation game Cities: Skylines has a Swiss cross on their hospital roof and a Red Cross insignia on the front of the building, violating two rules at the same time:

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Grenada Opbank

This U.S. bank hurts my heart with its large and pulsating Swiss organ:

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That is a very patriotic heart, even though it beats for Switzerland and not the U.S., where it lives. I wonder if the illustration means the medical loans are in Swiss Francs only. Wow, I’ve really been milking this currency joke. What’s next, a decorative German-made chinaware first-aid cow wearing stockings and a lab coat with a Swiss flag on it?

Oh. As a matter of fact, yes. That’s exactly what’s next:

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Seen at Bazar Suisse, but made in Germany.

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Gods Will Be Watching

In this game, the first-aid kits proudly wear a Swiss flag, whether they’re mounted to the wall or portable:

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Swiss "doctor" clip-art

This rich Swiss doctor is obviously carrying a suitcase full of Swiss Francs to an impoverished person in need (but with a stylish blue tie):

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No, Toonvectors, that’s not what a first aid kit is supposed to look like. This is a properly colored first aid kit.