MonthFebruary 2018

Fortnite

Oh boy. Epic Games, the developers of Fortnite, are no strangers to international markets. So it’s no surprise that the health refill item they include in their game is a small chest of Swiss delicacies, clearly labeled with the Swiss flag:

When you pick up that item it turns into some sort of snail shape with a Swiss flag armband on it:

I’m guessing the artists were trying to approximate the shape of a Swiss schnegg pastry. I couldn’t find a picture of the real Swiss one, so here’s a German imitation:

Not quite there, the artists got the dimensions all wrong. Better luck next time, Epic games!

The screenshot above was shamelessly stolen from a clip the gamers at Wizzite Games published. The false schnegg comes from a recipe written by the heathen German calling themselves ZwergTomate.

Just Cause 2

While the developers behind Just Cause 2 need to be commended for using the official first aid colors (white and green) on their first aid kits, they tarnish their reputation by putting what’s quite nearly the official Swiss coat of arms on armor crates:

Here’s the original one, just so you know:

This can only mean that in the universe of Just Cause 2, Switzerland managed to score an arms deal providing armor plates for Panau’s vehicles, even though they pleaded neutrality and shouldn’t really support any wars with arms exports. But maybe Panau is just a terribly peaceful dictatorship and all the killing and dying there doesn’t involve a war. Those sneaky Swiss bastards.

Just Cause’s correct (except for the cross shape) first aid kits look like this, by the way:

Desolate

This early access survival game is very mistitled. After all, the situation can’t be too desolate if you still have boxes of Swiss chocolate like Mack shows in this screenshot:

Real desolation would mean having to eat your fellow survivors. But chocolate? Come on.

Dauntless

In this upcoming action RPG, one of the healing items is a bottle of Röteli (Swiss cherry liqueur), as you can see in this screenshot via I HAS PC:

Don’t drink and sword, kids

This character has five bottles of the stuff, and at 22% ABV he’ll be completely pissed in no time if he tries to drink that for healing. Oh, and the sugar will make him a diabetic long-term.

Do better than Dauntless did, kids. No alcohol on the battlefield!